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World Reacts To Doorknob Announcement

As news reverberated around the music world of Doorknob’s upcoming reunion concert at Doolin’s Pub in Litchfield on Feb. 19 at 7pm (no cover; first come, first served), reactions were mixed.

“I always knew they’d play together again,” said their former manager and head roadie, Joey “Gone” Rogue. “It’s who they are. They are Doorknob.”

Others were more circumspect, such as Matt’s former makeup artist, Ashley Stevenson. “I assumed one of them would die before they’d play together again. I’m a little surprised Derek is willing to talk to Matt after what happened.”

Mr. Stevenson was likely referring to a recent incident, in which Matt responded to Derek forgetting his birthday by burning down Derek’s vacation house in the Hamptons. Ralph, Derek’s family goldfish, perished in the fire.

Derek said at the time, “Time heals all wounds. Except this one. This wound will never heal.” Matt claimed he had tried to save the fish, but it had refused to follow his commands.

In a YouTube video that has since been deleted, Derek is seen being asked on the street why he has agreed to play with Matt again. “For the same reason I ever played with him in the first place: money.”

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